From the recording KELP!

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Can Anybody Tell Me Where I Was Last Night?
(© Andy Hill)
A cautionary tale about a night of drunken debauchery
and the quest to find out what happened and why.

All I know is I was in Pasadena drinkin’ Budweiser in a little cantina
Singin’ songs and arguin’ and shootin’ the bull
Somebody took offense to what I said
Went and put his fist through the middle of my head
I swear it’s still in there rollin’ around in my skull

Can anybody tell me where I was last night?
Does anybody here know where I’ve been?
If somebody could tell me I’d sure owe him one good turn
Otherwise tonight I think I’ll go out and do it again

So Fred the Fireman’s girl comes in
I didn’t mean to stare at her
But every time I do what’s natural to me
Someone says I’m out of character
I thought he’d take it as a compliment
When I leaned down to give her a kiss
But Fred says, “Dude, there’s a fly on your nose,
I’ll get it for you with my fist.”

I’m stuck inside the bathroom mirror starin’ cross at a guy
Who stumbled through the door to investigate the cut on his eye
Are those stitches he sees or three X’s on a bottle of rye?

In times of trouble Mother Mary used to say,
“You gotta learn to shut your mouth.”
Funny how those words of wisdom come to mind after mine are already out
I musta been thinkin’ of ol’ Grandpa who used to lean down over my bed
And say, “You go around watching what you say all the time,
Son, you never get much said.”

Vocals: Andy & Renee
Electric Guitar, Piano, Organ: Andy
Acoustic Guitar, “Trumpet”: Renee
Lap Steel, Bass: Marty
Alto & Tenor Saxophone & Clarinet: Jeff Dellisanti
Drums: Edoardo Tancredi