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  1. If That's A Pass, My Ass Is A Washing Machine

From the recording KELP!

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If That's A Pass My Ass Is A Washing Machine
(© Ed and Ben Munro)
The Munro Brothers stupefied Canadians with this
non-fictional gem about the colorful, Burnaby hockey
coach Don Berry.

In the year of 1960 a little boy was born
His dad was a hockey player
An angry man was he and these words he’d say to me
When I would fall in to disfavor

If that’s a pass my ass is a washing machine
Jesus, quit your talkin’ when I’m talkin’!
Quit whippin’ your duff and drop that laundry
Or from this team you’ll be a-walkin’!

Well, I’m only five foot ten but I’m strong just like a bull
I can shoot that puck just like Paul Coffee
But my father would get pissed when I’d butcher an assist
With these words he then would mock me:

If that’s a pass my ass is a washing machine
Jesus, quit your talkin’ when I’m talkin’!
Quit whippin’ your duff and drop that laundry
Or from this team you’ll be a-walkin’!

Vocals & Hand Claps: Andy & Renee
Acoustic guitar, Piano, “Tuba”: Andy
Mandolin, Bass: Marty
Percussion: Renee
Clarinet: Jeff Delissanti
Rowdy Fans: New Hard Rain Singers